Gattaca, a movie whose name is a faulty construct of the first letters of guanine, adenine, thymine, and cytosine, the four nitrogenous bases of DNA is the inspiration behind Connecticut band Jeromes Dream. Music of extreme intensity and emotional resonance, a cd which in “Hide Your Smiling Faces” the boys listen to alone in their rooms. Being human in an “inhuman” (capitalism as a way of life opposed to the values of humanism) world does not let you move forward in life, your difference is a factor weighing you down, for better or worse. This message is in the (fatalistic) vision of screamo giants and many other emotionally perceptive entities such as Daniel Patrick Carborne in his “Hide Your Smiling Faces”. In Gattaca, An imperfect man has given his dreams in exchange for a chance at fulfilling those dreams to a socially perceived perfect person whose inability to be content with 2nd best had made him an accidental invalid, in his own perspective-once perfect, now no one. One who has decided to end himself but had not succeeded the first time around, in the end successful in leaving this world prematurely, just like the imperfect man from the beginning of the sentence. Both are given to stars in the movies beautiful end quote reminiscent of Carl Sagan which goes: “For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I’m suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving… maybe I’m going home”. Both gone from this earth, both poised for greatness through the sheer luck of their DNA structures, perfect or imperfect, human after all. Do neurological pathways hide hidden corridors of sense, do some of us feel the weight of the world on our shoulders as the Yiddish Lamedvavniks do pointed out by Timothy speed Levitch in the 1998 documentary “Cruise” (the story goes that there exist 36 righteous people whose role in life is to justify the purpose of humankind in the eyes of God. Since the 36 are each exemplars of anavah (humility), having such a virtue would preclude against one’s self-proclamation of being among the special righteous. The 36 are simply too humble to believe that they are one of the 36)? Does our lifetime hide a meaning besides the social construct of a well spent life and how do we begin to address such a monolithic question or are we just random atoms swerving in the cosmos? These questions are addressed in Carborne’s “…Smiling Faces” in the form of existential adolescent angst, in the mysterious act of death and the terrestrial, pedestrian view of it. This was the defining summer of these boys lives. It’s addressed in the broken flow of a seemingly good life, it’s the tragedy that happens in New Jersey and disrupts lives forever, just as atom structures are changed just by being, in constant relationship with everything, DNA structures are formed, reformed, and formed again. Our relationships to other people are formed, broken, and reformed, as social beings, the anxiety of our existance weighs heavy on us, thrown into the world and expected to follow the rules of our current civilization, adolescence is the period when our brain chemistry is at its weirdest, wildest, maybe purest form, it’s the time when we need to begin conforming to the rules of “normal” life, but how do we lead normal lives when some of us so early on learn that there are no guarantees of the promised normality through the norms of society. Tragedy is alienating, and that is life at its core. Death is a part of life in the animal kingdom, predators loom over prey, perpetuating the ecosystem-but not in humankind. At our most romantic, we were made for wonder, but devised ways to deceive ourselves and DNA structures of all kinds were free to rage rampant in our form of life. Consciousness is no longer a blessing, but a curse for some. The two young boys coping with external events in the form of tragedy recede inward for lack of ways of articulation and processing grief. After all, their little time on this earth has made them aware enough that they feel the pain and futility of existence in the face of loss of life. The brief moments of the boys listening to Jeromes Dream, Orchid and Saetia on the discman in their rooms reveals the filmmakers homage to his own coming of age, a sensibility that has I can only assume as many others exposed to that underground music scene shaped world views, outlooks and capacities for empathy. From that place in real life, in real tragedy, in real pain, Carborne transcends the narrative form and shoots a feeling more than a film. That’s why we love and relate to such ambition, it reminds us we’re not alone, our problems, anxieties and fears are not only our own, but for everyone to feel. There lays that something we never did figure out, is growing up giving up, is it giving in, or is it just a precious and unforgettable swerving of atoms that happens in all of us ?